Last weekend we were hanging around the house. We’re all kind of bummed about the economy and so we think it’s probably a pretty good idea to get drunk. So PJ and Lucas split a bottle of whiskey and I don’t even remember what I was drinking. A lot of Hoegaarden, I think.

Anyway, that’s just how I wanted to preface this story… we were drunk.

So I walk out into the backyard and PJ and Lucas are looking really sheepish and like they’re trying to hide something from me. I see a giant wet spot on the back porch and I immediately bellow, “Did one of you pee on the fucking porch?” Lucas yells, “PJ did!” PJ yells, “Lucas did!”

I’m thinking holy shit, that’s completely disgusting… so I make a big scene, yell a little bit, whatever. Then it comes to light that they had just broken a glass. So, what I’ve been trying to figure out since then is, does it say more about me or them that they thought I would be less angry over them peeing on the porch than breaking a glass?

Why did I immediately assume someone had peed on the porch in the first place?

Yeah, well, the next day I had one of those hangovers that hurts in a way that makes you think you might not ever feel good again. Then, when you finally do feel good again you clean the whole house to punish yourself.

Exactly.