Things I’ve managed to accomplish in the last week:

• Eat pizza for 75 percent of my meals.
• See a really great Tenacious D show.
• Play a large role in emailing approximately 6,000 coworkers an animated gif with a subliminal watermark noting “gaysexistheanswer.”
• Grow another unintentional dreadlock.
• Spend an entire weekend lolling about in a kiddie pool in my backyard drinking a Slavic amount of vodka instead of being a normal, functional adult.
• Upload all my vacation pictures.

That’s it.